Recently I learned a friend was diagnosed with a progressive degenerative disease and has lost his mobility. Whenever I hear tragic news, I internalize it into a series of “what ifs”. What if I could no longer move at my quick pace? What if I could no longer play tennis? What if I became totally dependent on another?
I often find myself worrying about the future when my today is really pretty good. Why am I not enjoying what is rather than worrying about what may never be? My life is hectic as I have a life-pattern of taking on too much. Having completed all my doctoral classes, I am now writing my dissertation, moving from my condo to a single home, preparing several new workshops for clients, and am anxious to reach more women through SUCCESSTROGEN.com.
As a result of all that I take on, I find myself often worrying. What if I cannot understand the NVivo software to analyze my research data? What if I do not pass my oral defense of my dissertation? What if I do not like living alone in a single home? What if a tree falls on my roof in the middle of the night? What if my clients think they would prefer a different consultant, a younger one? What if the idea of SUCCESSTROGEN falls flat?
One of my favorite TV characters, Ali McBeal, had an interesting idea. Ali, an attorney, was bright and convincing albeit appearing before a judge in a mini-skirt far too short for the courtroom. As a woman she displayed a quirkiness that made her unique and fun. I wanted a friend like her in my life.
One Ali McBeal episode revealed that Ali had a theme song, a favorite song that played over and over again in her head. When she was feeling shaky, Ali would consciously call up the song from the depths of her mind, providing her comfort when she needed it. Still other times the song appeared unsolicited as if it were a built in defense mechanism to help Ali get through her day.
Maybe I should have a theme song. Hmmmm…. how about “This is My Now”, performed by Jordin Sparks, American Idol, season six. The song is about transforming from being afraid, taking a “step of faith” and “breathing in the moment”. With “fear behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt”. Through the words of that song, Jordin assured America that she was stepping out of the past on to center stage, putting her doubts behind her. This was her “now.”
You may think having a theme song is silly, and maybe it is, even for me. But, women with high SUCCESSTROGEN levels know that this is their “now”. They no longer relive their past but have applied the lessons learned to their “now” so they can be at their personal best today. Being in their “now”, these women worry little as they visualize a snapshot of tomorrow.
I have survived the loss of two grandchildren, a child diagnosed with cancer, a sad-to-the-bone divorce, and being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease I could hardly spell. The learning from those challenges stays with me, but this is my “now” and it is pretty good here. In my “now”, I continually do the things I need to do to stay at my personal best. And in my “now”, planning for tomorrow helps keep the “what ifs” to a minimum.
How do you manage what was, stay with what is, and plan for what may be? How do you value your past as an important part of who you are today, and at the same time keep your focus on what you do today. How do you remind yourself that this is your “now?”