I was told that turtles return to the very beach where they were born to lay their eggs. Think about that: Thousands of tiny little turtles are born on a beach, make their way to the water to begin their lives, yet very few of them survive the larger fish looking for a tasty snack. Once the lucky little turtles who survive are large enough to care for themselves, they swim across the ocean to other continents and back. When the adult turtle is about to give birth, it journeys to the beach where it was born. Now that’s some GPS system!
Struggling to believe this fact about turtles, I sat down and did what any normal person living in the year 2012 would do –I Googled it. In case you are interested, my Google search informed me that female sea turtles have a homing instinct, therefore, they return to the beach where they were born to lay their eggs. Incredible!
I Google often. When I want to know something, I “Google” my question, just like my question about turtles. When I want to purchase something, I “Google” the item. During my recent move, I used Google to search for a contemporary floor lamp, a fun area rug, and even a personalized biscotti jar. I have Googled travel destinations, gourmet foods, and men I am interested in dating. Yes, it is true, I Google men.
Once I am interested in someone, I Google his name. My search offers me information about his career, perhaps the company he owns or works for, and any awards and recognition he has achieved. The Google search is helpful in offering me “the what”, however, it doesn’t offer me “the how” nor “the why”. A Google search reveals little to nothing about the value set that drives the man, about his current behavior and how he treats others or the earth we live on. The Google search does not provide me the information most important to me when I am bringing someone into my life at any level.
What is most important to me regarding others is learned by observing their behavior, by being with the person and watching how he responds to his environment. Before bringing people into their lives, women with high levels of SUCCESSTROGEN rely on their observation skills, not a Google search or a resume for that matter. These women are observant and if they observe behavior in contrast to their value set, they do not befriend, marry/partner, or hire the person regardless of the accolades revealed by a Google search. They do not hope to change someone or fool themselves into thinking the unwanted behavior will go away. They do not rush to find just anyone, they are patient to find the right someone to fill a role in an organization or a void in their heart.
Sometimes I observe something that is a “stretch” behavior, not one that really fits my value set but for whatever reason at the moment I am willing to overlook it. I may downplay it and accept the person into my life, only to be reminded later on that the particular behavior not only does not fit well with me, but it has become more annoying. One recent example for me would be someone who is cynical about life, putting a negative spin on just about everything. Sometimes the words of a cynic are disguised with humor, nevertheless the negative undertones are there and bring down. I understand that we need to be tolerant of others, and no one of us is perfect but when the value set is not aligned, little progress can be made towards a healthy relationship.
I need to trust my observation skills, and keep on walking when the behavior I observe does not align with my value set……something I cannot find on a Google search.