In my never-ending search for someone with whom to share my heart, I decided to sign up again on Match.com, an internet dating site. When the home page popped up, there were numerous photos of happy, smiling, and very handsome men. Well of course they were all attractive–this is a promotional thing to confuse my already unrealistic romantic fantasies. I was directed to write a profile telling the world what a joy I would be to date!
I glanced through a few profiles of age-appropriate men in the Sarasota area. Interesting observation: in Sarasota, ALL men are honest, caring and sensitive!!!! Most of them are divorced and oddly enough it was their wives who caused their broken marriages. Simply put–men on these dating sites lie! With regard to the “surfacey” things, they lie about their age, weight and body type. When I actually meet them I hardly recognize the person approaching me and calling my name as he no way, shape or form resembles his photo. Did he actually age since yesterday when I agreed to meet him?
And while the physical description is not even close to reality, what I find even more mind-boggling is that this ” good listener, kind man, with a great sense of humor” has talked incessantly, been rude to the wait staff, and complained about how awful the world is today. UGH!
After much thought, I decided not to talk about how delightful I am, how positive, motivating and whatever other adjectives the dictionary affords me. Rather, I talked about the negative side of me: impatient, impulsive, and non-stop motion. But before doing so, I wrote, “Pinocchio Need Not Apply!!!!”
Honesty…Above all else, is what I want in anyone I bring into my life. I want to know when something I have written on this blog is meaningful to you, and I want to know when I have missed the mark, or let you down. I want to know when I look good, and when I don’t, when I am helpful, and when I am annoying. I want to know what you really think about God and the world, about the differences in people, and ….. I want to know what is inside someone I am befriending and I will share that same honestly about myself. I no longer need someone that thinks just like me, because I am aware of the implications and therefore the limitations of that to our relationship. And as you know from my previous blogs, I need to “feel” and observe what someone values. With regard to entering into my personal and professional world, there is no reason for anyone to lie.
Women with high SUCCESSTROGEN levels are clear on what they want in their relationships and what they cannot/will not tolerate. In this area, I am sure I need honesty above all else in my professional and personal relationships.
What about you? What are those qualities that are “musts” for you, and those that may be show stoppers for bringing someone into your life, or keeping him/her there? It is a question worth considering, don’t you think?