There was something wrong with the hinge on my guest bathroom door. Not ever having worked in Home Depot and therefore lacking the technical name for the current problem, I will just say the nail that holds the hinge together so a door can swing freely and close tightly, was sticking up. The hinge was not working. What was also not working was that a guest using that bathroom couldn’t fully close the door–UGH.
While this may come as a surprise to you, I have a tool box. Not a serious, metal one with little compartments for nuts and bolts, but a plastic bin into which I have thrown one hammer, a Philips and a regular screwdriver, a measuring tape, tons of batteries, an extra power cord, and far too unrecognizable things. Consulting my trusty tool box, I found the hammer, just the right tool for the job. Two good swats with the hammer, “hitting the nail on the head” so to speak, and the hinge was fixed. The hammer was just what I needed.
Recently I had a problem that needed fixing but after trying several different tools, the problem remained a problem I was unable to fix. Outside of my plastic-bin toolbox, I have a lot of tools to help me resolve problems. I have all the energy and determination in the world. I have ears for listening, eyes for observing, and a good brain with which to problem solve. I know how to communicate clearly, how to confront, and how to give positive and constructive feedback. Usually those tools help me stay true to my values and bring value to others. In this case, I tried them all, but none worked. It would have been easy for me to point fingers and put someone else’s name on the problem, but I am aware of an old Chinese proverb that says:
“A bad workman blames his tools.”
I am aware that many people blame others for their misfortune, lack of success, and their unhappiness. I have addressed this in previous SUCCESSTROGEN blogs. I suppose it is so much easier to blame something outside of ourselves than to look inward and acknowledge our contribution toward a problem. But women with high SUCCESSTROGEN don’t blame, they assess a situation, look within to see their role in it, attempt to fix it, and then if they cannot, they move on. No grudges, they just move on.On that, I score high SUCCESSTROGEN.
However, I am very low SUCCESSTROGEN when it comes to moving away as soon as I see the value set is not aligned. Far too often, I try to put the difference in the back of my mind, I try to work around it, because all else looks good. But it comes back to haunt me every time! I cannot judge another’s value set but when core values are very different from mine, alignment is not going to happen. I need alignment of those values with my children and family, on the tennis court, and in every aspect of my life.
Recently, I did not have the right tool to fix a lack of alignment between myself and another. I was able to identify the gap, but unable to close it and unfortunately, unskilled at working around it. Sometimes lots of pieces are perfectly aligned, yet one piece is not and then much like my hinge problem, the door does not swing as it should; it just doesn’t work.
And so, to make a long story short, I had to close a door, and again, walk through the familiar door marked SUCCESSTROGEN where I always feel in alignment, a place where I will devote more time to reaching more women and helping them develop their SUCCESSTROGEN.
By the way, what’s in your toolbox?