A friend stopped by the other morning as I was making a batch of waffles. I usually eat one, because unlike a “stack of pancakes”, one waffle at a time is best. I freeze the rest. I love Belgium waffles (which incidentally are no where to be found in Belgium) with lots of maple syrup and sometimes when I am really daring, with a bit of whipped cream as well. I offered my surprise guest a waffle as my waffle maker does what it is supposed to do quickly and perfectly, every time. But she declined.
As I ate my waffle, my friend began telling me about the new man in her life with a level of enthusiasm I hadn’t heard in her voice for a long time. She talked about his thoughtfulness, that he is an excellent cook, and has a collection of the top 100 greatest movies of all time! Every once in a while during the day, he sends her a text simply saying “thinking about you.” He makes her laugh out loud, and they enjoy the same restaurants and TV shows. I couldn’t help but hope that he had a twin brother!
“Wow,” I said. “Do you think he is the man you have been waiting for all these years?” I expected her to quickly say yes and that she was bringing him this weekend to meet me.
“Oh, I didn’t say that!” she quickly back peddled. “You know he is an agnostic and I am not sure that is a good fit for me. And he isn’t into sports and you know how I love the Sox and Patriots.”
I glanced down at my waffle and couldn’t help but think she was “waffling” on the relationship question. Just then, the indicator light told me another waffle was ready. I removed the next waffle and put it on a plate in front of her. And we both laughed.
Much later in the day I was grinning to myself about the waffle being there just when I needed it, a perfect prop. While I enjoy eating a waffle, (the noun), I do not in fact ever waffle, (the verb) on my beliefs or core values. I may waffle back and forth on what to wear or what movie to see, but not on my values. High SUCCESSTROGEN women don’t waffle either. They see a problem and relentlessly search for a solution. If they are entrepreneurial, they don’t waffle back and forth when others think their idea won’t fly or a spouse or partner suggests that they need to focus on their day job to help support the household. They know their destiny isn’t in their day job.
Sometimes we waffle with our child who does not want to go to soccer practice. We start off by reminding her that she has a committment to her team. We start off strong, but in the end, we waffle! We get tired of arguing and dealing with the tears. She does not go to soccer practice and now we are responsible for helping to create a behavioral pattern that can have negative consequences.
We may waffle on going to the gym, choosing healthy foods, or drinking too much wine. When we waffle, or go against what we believe we should do, we have negative consequences that we do not welcome. While I don’t waffle on my core values, I do my fair share of waffling on other things, like getting talked into going to some events I don’t enjoy, or eating a piece of cake when I am not even hungry.
Consider reviewing a “waffle experience” that causes you the most pain, stop the waffling, and enjoy the positive outcome. Take it one waffle experience at a time, because, we are a not talking pancakes here– one waffle at a time is best. I think I will do the same.