Be Nice or Be QUIET


I was visiting my daughter-in-law, Lisa, recently. I have blogged about her before because she has high SUCCCESSTROGEN as evidenced by her happiness and the purposeful way she lives her life.  Lisa lives her life for others. Aside from the giving person she is, Lisa has the incredible talent of decorating a large home and making it  comfy and cozy, giving it  a small bungalow feeling. Throughout her home the walls are adorned with  fun inspirational thoughts. Some are painted on rustic wood, others are hand written on chalk boards of all sizes and shapes, and still others are framed. There is often a bench or cluster of little chairs around the signs, inviting the visitor to sit and ponder the message on the wall.  Everywhere you go in Lisa’s home, you are challenged to think about the message before you and its application to your life.

Shortly after my  arrival, one of the three girls said something critical to her younger sister, and the battle was on. Lisa said a quick “Oh dear!” to indicate her displeasure at what was said, but she did not get into the conversation.

I watched Lisa as she continued to unload her packages from the car.  She unpacked her groceries and as the girls continued their unkind words to one another, Lisa seemed to be searching for a particular bag. She found it and hung a new sign, right near where the girls were arguing. It was a simple sign, with just a few words,

“Be nice or be quiet.”

She did not mention the sign at all.  She positioned the nail between her two fingers, gave one soft tap with a hammer, hung the sign, and continued to unpack her groceries. The girls looked at the sign, and one another.  Silence. They had not been nice, but they were now quiet.

Just as the sign gave a straight forward message without a lot of hullabaloo, Lisa parented in a similar quiet fashion. Lisa sent an important message without scolding, without a long lecture,  she merely hung the sign–“Be nice or be quiet.”

Women with High SUCCESSTROGEN are good at sending messages that are succinct and timely, without a lot of hullabaloo. They live their lives the way they believe they should, with little explanation or attention. Their self-confidence is obvious. Their ability to do the right things is recognized by others around them and their behavior is often mirrored by those who wish to be more like them. Lisa is kind or she keeps her thoughts to herself.

Perhaps it is time for me to reflect…am I most often choosing “be kind or be quiet” or do I too frequently choose something else, something less effective???? If too often I am unkind, I am falling way short of my personal mission to positively impact other women.  If too often, I fail to keep my negative thoughts to myself, my behavior is not aligned with my value set.  If I am not true to my value set, I cannot be happy and happy is of upmost importance to me.

I’m just wondering…what about you? Does this blog get you thinking about you?

3 responses to “Be Nice or Be QUIET

  1. Mary Ann, you and your daughter-in-law must be very close because the way you described Lisa is the way I would describe you–always cheery and happy and you certainly live your life in a purposeful way. You also have shown that you live your life for others. You are a true role model. Bonnie

  2. What a wonderful approach to parenting the inevitable sparring that children engage in! Wish our elected officials would adopt this approach. It is difficult to oractice our best communication skills when we are surrounded by people who complain about work and belittle others. This is a beautiful tidbet to remember. The power of quiet !

  3. Thank you Bonnie and Jane for reading my blogs, and for sharing your thoughts about living purposefully and the power of quiet.

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