I am aware that I have often written to you about being mindful of the moment, about letting go of the past, and not worrying about the future. Generally following the “practice what you preach rule”, that is how I live my life: I enjoy the moment, I have clearly let go of the past and I rarely worry about tomorrow. Until recently that is—-UGH.
A few weeks ago I had my right thumb operated on to replace the ligaments, reduce the pain, and most important to make my thumb more usable again Today, I curse the day I decided to give up my right hand/arm (living in the past), cannot seem to focus on anything as the frustration level is high (not enjoying the moment) and frankly I only hope that five weeks from now my thumb actually works again, my flabby arms tighten up again, and these frustrating weeks are erased from my memory (worrying about the future).
I remember well learning that Robin Roberts’ mom, upon hearing of her daughter’s breast cancer diagnosis, wisely advised Robin to “turn your mess into her message.” Her advice was spot on and Robin did just that inspiring women around the globe.
I would like to do that for you, I would like to turn this thumb mess into a message for you, but I cannot seem to find one! Probably because I am typing this blog with only my left hand and it is taking me forever (still not enjoying the moment!!), or maybe because the present moment is difficult and frustrating (not even close to enjoying the present), or maybe because I am consumed with wondering if my thumb will still hurt a few weeks from now (worry about the future).
Oh, and by the way: Ellen, thanks for coming with me to Orlando to get this thumb surgery on the calendar. Mara, thank you for driving me to my surgery, Marc and Karen for taking me to get my cast put on, and Carol for taking me to get the cast off two weeks from now,. Thank you Dr George White for your expertise as well as your bedside manner. And Ellen for spending three days with me so that I could learn how to do the most basic of things with my left hand! Thank you Mercedita for grocery shopping, Helen and Leah for wrapping my Christmas gifts, my daughters-in-law for taking on Thanksgiving Dinner, and everyone for the soup, treats, cards and phone calls, and…..oh dear….there it is, the MESSAGE!!!!
The message this time is not for you, but for me–the message is about my family and friends and my gratitude that they jumped in before I asked, to be what I needed them to be, to be the HIGH SUCCESSTROGEN women they are. I am most fortunate. I am reminded to be grateful for my usual agility and speed with which I function, and for all that is good and right in my world. And once again, I am reminded of letting go of past decisions and embracing the moment, and being prepared for whatever lies ahead.