Tag Archives: passion

Birds who Sing

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????I was recently in the gym working out to Bob Marley’s, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”, one of my favorite work out tunes.  That was followed by Danielle Bradbury’s rendition of “Grandpa”.  When I work out, I sing…loudly I might add. I love to work out and somehow I love to sing and the two go hand in hand for me. Problem:  I do not sing well.  Most of my “gym rat” buddies encourage me to sing and even request one of my usual happy tunes, but one friend finds my singing annoying. Now don’t be too harsh on him, he really is right in that I do not sing well and I often sing the same song over and over. So when he is in the gym, I do not sing out loud. I don’t enjoy my workout as much, but I do not like to be the source of others pissiness. Consequently, when he is not in the gym, I sing like there is no tomorrow!

My friend Leah is not a gym user and I have not discussed my loud singing problem with her but last week I invited her to join me for dinner.  She came in the door with a gift bag in which was a sparkly picture frame with a quote inside. She said she knew I would like it and she was spot on.

I read it out loud, “The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those who sing best.”

I know Leah wasn’t talking about my singing because she was not privy to it. But what the message she wanted to convey to me was “do what you do because if we wait for someone who can do it better, we may wait too long, and frankly they may choose not to.

So the broader message is…If there is something you enjoy doing and you don’t engage in it because you are not good at it, go do it anyway. Take a lesson, or ask for help to get started, or just plain go out on a limb..but don’t miss out, do it. Do what you enjoy, and taking from a previous blog, “learn by doing.”

Women with high SUCCESSTROGEN put themselves out there, even if they “don’t sing the best”. It is not about who is the best, but rather who has the passion to do something, for surely that drive and motivation will be far more valuable in the accomplishment of the task than being the best at it.  Sometimes when one has achieved “best in class”, the passion has waned…sort of a “been there, done that” kind of emotion. When the passion is there, the time is right!

If you have the desire, the passion, go and do, whether you are the best or not, go and do!




Last summer in the Hamptons,  I walked through a very old cemetery.  I couldn’t read much of what was engraved on the weather battered tombstones but one woman was recognized for being a faithful wife and good mother. A young child was recognized for his ability to make others laugh and a fire fighter was noted for saving lives. I wondered for a moment what perhaps we all wonder, what would people say about me? I quickly reminded myself that  my wish is to be cremated, so there will be no tombstone claiming I was “the best mom ever”, “the woman of a man’s dreams”, or “the best adjunct professor ever at the University of South Florida.”  Whatever people think of me may be verbally stated (or whispered !) but nothing about me will be carved in stone anywhere, anytime.

What would I hope they would say about me? I would like people to say  that  I brought joy,  taught them something, or that I changed the way they behave. Women from the north east may say  I was a ” Jersey girl”, others will say that I was a good story teller, and still others  will offer that I was a great x-wife. Helen will tell the story of the coconut cake and how hard she laughed.

Recently while browsing in Nordstrom  I saw a t-shirt that read “I fly with my own set of wings”–and there it was. That was what I would like to be remembered as, a woman who “flew with her own wings”–that I did things my way, made decisions for myself accepting the consequences of my sometimes impulsive behavior,  and I made life happen, all  because I knew I had wings.

Women with high SUCCESSTROGEN fly with their own wings. They have a strong air of independence about them.  It is  not that they do not need anyone, but they do not depend on another for their happiness.  They think for themselves, are self-directed and self-motivated. They demonstrate courage and conviction in both their words and their behavior.

If you have never flown by your own wings, I suspect it is a bit scary at first. But the idea is that once you are sure of who you are, you then add the guts, focus, persistence and faith to fly with your own wings. Your own wings fit you perfectly and once you realize you have them and rely on them, you will soar!

We all know some successful women who have made a  career of their dreams, allowing themselves to be driven by their passion.  They  exude happiness. They have purpose and meaning and they generate a community of others also passionate about what they are doing. When you enter their “space”, there is a buzz, a happy buzz, a productive buzz. People around them are not complaining, they are working together, creating, planning, fixing to accomplish their goals.  They all could be sporting that t-shirt in Nordstrom, because they all

“…fly by their own wings.”

Have I encouraged you to  dust off your wings and test them out again? Your life may have changed somewhat and you may need to adjust the old wings to better enable you to take off, but do it.  Don’t wait any longer to “fly by your own wings”– take charge of your own life.

Fly by your own wings and enjoy the journey!


“Find Your Grail”


Every once in a while I enjoy live theater so much, I return to see the same show  again. My favorite theater experience is an upbeat show with one song that catches my attention, one that I continue to sing as I exit the theater and for days and weeks after the performance.  A good example is the song, Hakuna Matata  (“no worries”) from Lion King.  I saw the show three times and sang the song for years!

Recently,  I saw a Monty Python show, Spamalot. It was downright silly and fun, and I left the show singing the theme song, “Find Your Grail.” Spamalot is the story of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round table who have a quest to find the Holy Grail.  Last week I took my  friend, Janet, to see it, her first time and my fourth time!  We both left the theater singing “Find Your Grail” as we walked home.

The words of the song have truly resonated with me as they seem to sum up what I am always saying  to you.  If I were helping you with your tennis game, I would say find your sweet spot, the place where the ball and your racket meet, resulting in your best shot. If I were offering professional coaching about starting a sales career, I would encourage you to know your product well, to develop a consistent plan to develop  your pipeline, and to discipline yourself to cold-call daily.

But if you were  floundering, unsure  of what to do with your life,  perhaps a bit down,  or looking for a new challenge, I would sing “Find your Grail” from Spamalot. I realize the very thought of my singing to you would discourage most of you from ever telling me that you are floundering, but the words of the song are very powerful.

Women with high SUCCESSTROGEN have found their grail, that passion that gives them focus, energy and happiness . And they know when they need a change, when they need to search for a new grail.

I have found my grail several times in my lifetime.  I found it becoming a mom, starting  the O’Neil School, getting my PhD, moving downtown and I am happy to say, just last week, I found it again!!!!!!!! This time I have accepted a position as CEO of a startup business, an online based organization for mompreneurs who have a new business idea.  Our company will help the young moms develop their idea, write a business plan, and get funding so they can bring their product or service to the market place.  I am ecstatic to be chosen to lead this company and work with incredible women  who seem to have found their grail.

Go find your Grail.  I do not know what it is, but you know, so go get it!  And if you do not know, then figure it out, look around, see what grabs your attention and what gets your passion stirring. There is no better feeling than finding your grail.